Sperm Donor Kids Speak Out: Biological Dads Matter

Huffington Post 19 Jan 2011

” … I don’t want to be on his family’s Christmas cards or to take up an inordinate amount of his time. I just want to know who he is.”
“I feel like half a person.”
“I wish he simply knew I exist.”
No one knows how many persons are conceived each year in the U.S. through anonymous sperm donation. Experts estimate it could be somewhere between 30,000 and 60,000 annually, but the numbers are only a guess because the U.S. government does not require reporting or tracking of such pregnancies. For the fertility industry, anonymity is the grease that keeps the machinery going. It allows men (and women) in exchange for money to conceive offspring they never have to meet or acknowledge. It allows parents who wish to purchase sperm or eggs not to have to tell their child the truth about how the child was conceived. And, it has allowed our society to avoid the uncomfortable fact that we are creating two classes of persons, those who have the legal right to know their origins and those who are legally forbidden to learn the same thing.

Now, anonymity is being turned on its head. This week saw the launch of the first-ever online story collective for donor conceived persons and others involved in reproductive technologies. AnonymousUs.org allows persons conceived through sperm donation and similar practices to tell their stories anonymously, without fear of hurting their parents, getting flamed on the Internet, or having to go on record about intimate details of their lives. The brainchild of donor-conceived activist Alana S. (who is also a blogger at the site I edit, FamilyScholars.org), AnonymousUs.org is already filled with powerful stories from donor conceived persons, donors, legal parents, adoptees, and others whose lives have intersected with these technologies, with new stories being added daily.



2 comments for “Sperm Donor Kids Speak Out: Biological Dads Matter

  1. 29 January 2011 at 1:18 am

    There has been several stories relating to this project- and the comments below those articles are most telling.

    This sounds like a great idea- people sharing ideas, healing, talking about the issues relating to anonymous sperm donation. However the comments made directly by the creator Alana Stewart under these articles show that there is a fairly sinister agenda behind the project-one that many will not realise that are participating in.

    Not only does Alana Stewart want to see anonymous sperm donation abolished (and as a professional working with children I get this- I disagree with anonymous donations too) she also does not believe that children should be brought into the world other than to straight married couples. She is adamant that the evil in society is directly linked to children being raised by anyone other than the two biological parents- in marriage.

    Please do carefully read Alana Stewarts comments- posted to articles- in addition to the articles themselves. If you are a single women, lesbian or gay couple, or even an infertile unmaried couple- then beware. According to the creator of this project you do not deserve to have children- it is selfish for you to do so- and you are ‘buying’ children.

    She is also apparently unaware than many two parent married couples manage to mess up their kids too.

    After reading of this project one would hope to find a place of love, kindness and acceptance. It is a pity that this is simply not the case.

  2. Bob
    30 January 2011 at 10:10 pm

    We would agree with Alana stewart’s general approach. While a compassionate and caring society always comes to the aid of motherless and fatherless families, a wise and loving society never intentionally creates fatherless or motherless families.

    “Nature dictates that a man and a woman are required for procreation and this limitation should be acknowledged and respected because it discloses something of the purposes and providence of nature: that a child’s best interests are served by it having a mother and father” Children on Demand by Tom Frame

    Read more about the research and science around why marriage matters here http://www.nzmarriage.org.nz

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