Parents Urged To Ditch Time Out Techniques
InfoNews.co.nz 10 Nov 2010
A punishment-free approach to parenting advocated by a New Zealand couple who discourage the use of time out, yelling, threats and bribery is about to be held up as an international example for others to follow. Genevieve and Dan Simperingham founded The Peaceful Parent Institute four years ago and run nationwide seminars on how to parent in a kind, calm and peaceful manner while maintaining strong, clear and fair boundaries for children. ..Genevieve says The Peaceful Parent Institute offers a holistic approach to help foster a child’s emotional wellbeing and emotional intelligence. “Although using rewards or threats may work in the short term, adopting a punishment-free approach is a key factor in establishing relationships that are based on trust, mutual respect and for creating a good team spirit in the family,” she says.
This is more parenting ‘quackery’ from the anti-correction and anti-smacking lobby. And not the first time. At a recent Early Intervention Association conference, they were told that behaviour-control techniques such as ‘time out’ and the ‘naughty chair’ are unprofessional and in breach of the United Nations (UN) Declaration of the Rights of the Child and the national curriculum Te Whariki. The UNITEC lecturer said “What you’re really doing is you’re punishing the child for doing something that is not appropriate, instead of teaching them, which is our mandate.”
Psychologist Nigel Latta was lambasted by supporters of the anti-smacking law when he suggested that parents may need to lock the room to prevent a child coming out of ‘time out’ in their bedroom. Sue Bradford suggested it could damage the children psychologically and Barnardos said parents should call a help-line instead! Other so-called parenting experts have previously claimed that time out is shameful and humiliating and creates hurt, anger and defiance in a child. They also claim that nervous habits can result, and that children should not be told they are naughty.
Once again, these ‘perfect parenting’ demands and latest fads in parenting by so-called experts simply undermine the confidence of parents to raise their children in a positive and common sense way. Will it soon be unacceptable to withdraw privileges or ‘ground’ a child – perhaps even unacceptable to frown at a child who is misbehaving!” Research is quite clear that firm clear discipline with consequences (that are not just empty threats) saturated with love and involvement produces great kids. We all know examples of parents who have adopted the ‘laissez faire’ attitude – and the negative outcomes!
Great and law-abiding kiwi parents are being forced to change their parenting techniques based on flawed and unproven ideology and scaremongering of academics, politicians and state agencies who have misdefined positive parenting and child abuse.
I just hope that the policeman who pulls me over for speeding or dangerous driving next time has done the ‘peaceful parenting’ course. He’ll give me a pat on the back and wish me a good day rather than give me a ticket 🙂