Did Victoria University’s ‘conversion therapy’ work on me?
A ‘study’ by Victoria University says that reducing stigma towards people with a sexual attraction to children (aka “paedophile”) is important for mitigating the negative consequences of stigma towards their ‘orientation’. I enrolled in the survey and started the ‘conversion therapy’. Did it work?
TRANSCRIPT:
Did Victoria University’s ‘conversion therapy’ work on me?
Not a chance. The compulsion to abuse children is not a morally neutral one. It should be stigmatised & attract social disapproval.
To recap:
In Part 1, I asked – Is Vic University trying to destigmatise paedophilia? A ‘study’ by Victoria University says that“reducing stigma towards people with a sexual attraction to children is important for important for mitigating the negative consequences of stigma (damaging mental health, reducing help-seeking behaviours) and ideally reducing the risk of sexual offending from this group (through enhanced wellbeing and help-seeking.”
In Part 2, I enrolled in the survey and started the ‘conversion therapy’.
In Part 3, I explained whether the notions of paedophilia, stigma, orientation and victim came from – using evidence of the agenda from overseas.
In this final part, I complete the journey of ‘conversion therapy’.
Did it work?
Let me start with where I’m at personally.
According to Wikipedia;
Paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children… People with the disorder are often referred to as paedophiles.
Hebephilia is a sexual preference for children in early adolescence, between ages 11 and 14. Ephebophilia refers to an attraction for older adolescents around 15 to 18 years old.
But it loosely comes under the one label – paedophilia.
It’s a disorder – a deviance – which must be treated.
Left untreated and acted upon, it will do untold harm to both the victim/s and to the offender.
The stigma is a good thing. It’s a very healthy stigma which hopefully redirects the offender. But more importantly, the stigma is there to try and protect the victim. The child.
Do we condemn the paedophile? Not if they don’t act on their desires, and definitely not if they seek the necessary help which even Victoria University admits is available.
It’s no different to anybody else who may struggle with the propensity to be violent to women, violent to children, an alcoholic, addicted to drug use, having a raging destructive anger, someone who really wants to kill people who offend them, sexually abusive & sexually demanding towards women (& men) – the list goes on.
A 2007 study published in the US National Institute of Health Journal says:
Human behaviour is subject to genetic variations. The ways in which individuals differ in their intellectual abilities, personalities, and mental health are, to a large extent, functions of their inherited genetic predispositions.
But as Anna Salter, a US psychologist, author, and internationally recognized expert says:
“It’s a choice to act on child molestation. We don’t need to say, ‘Offending isn’t so bad. It really isn’t your fault. … You really couldn’t control it. You are a victim of a punitive society.’ We need to say, ‘Offending is devastating. It damages the lives of victims. It has damaged your life. You can learn to control yourself. You have the capacity to do better.’
There is an academic attempt to label concerns about paedophiles working with children, living in your area, being amongst families and their children, as irrational and unfair – that we need to reduce the “perceptions of dangerousness” and that they have a condition that is not their choice and none of them will act on it.
Sadly we know this to be false.
And part of this attempt is never to use the word “paedophile” – because it’s mean and hurts feelings.
Will we one day not be able to use the term “rapist” or “addict” or “abuser”?
Here’s the bottom line – trying to destigmatise morally eroded behaviour generally ends up normalising it.
As Associate Professor of Criminology at the UNSW Michael Salter said – “The compulsion to abuse children is not a morally neutral one. It should be stigmatised & attract social disapproval”
So: I will act to protect the child first and foremost from any real or perceived threat. Secondly, I will do everything I can to coerce and encourage the paedophile to get treatment.
The good news is that paedophilia can be treated with hormone medication therapies, cognitive behaviour therapy, and psychosocial methods such as group therapy. Testosterone-lowering drugs have also shown positive results in reducing sexual interests and behaviours. We should definitely increase support for men who want help.Part Two of the ‘therapy’ arrived by email. I’m introduced to three dudes.
Throughout the next three modules, we’ll introduce you to three people – Joe, Sam, and Rick. We’ll tell you a bit more about them and their lives so you can get to know them better.
This is Joe. Joe is in his early thirties, and he works in the butchery at his local supermarket. He has two younger brothers and his parents have been married for almost 35 years. They grew up in a rural New Zealand town, and Joe still lives there. When Joe and his brothers were young, they all played rugby at school and in their local team. While Joe’s younger brothers both still play rugby, Joe had to quit after an injury. Joe still goes to see his brothers play when he’s free, and they all get together regularly for a barbeque to watch their favourite teams play. Joe has worked in the butchery for a few years now, after he spent some time working in different departments of the supermarket. When he’s not working, Joe enjoys barbequing for his friends and family, telling them about the different cuts of meat and how best to prepare them.
This is Sam. Sam has recently turned 20 and is in their second year of university studying marketing. Theygrew up in the city suburbs with their older brother and younger sister, splitting time between their dad’s house and their mum and stepdad’s house. They’re currently living in a flat with friends from university.
(“they’re” – with the older brother and younger sister????)
Sam spent their childhood obsessed with music, begging their parents for a guitar and lessons for years until they gave in, and collecting vinyl records from their favourite bands. While Sam had dreamt of starting a band and becoming famous, their dad pushed them to pursue a university degree and “get a real job”.
(and a real pronoun)
Sam doesn’t mind their university classes, but they’ve definitely handed a few assignments in late after spending too long teaching themselves a new song on the guitar.
This is Rick. Rick is in his late forties, and he works in IT. He has recently moved into a new town, in order to be closer to his mum after his dad died. He has a teenage daughter who lives with her mum most of the time, but he sees her a few times a month and over the holidays. Rick has been working in IT since he was in his 20s and has no plans to change his career – he likes the consistency and working with something he knows nearly everything about. Rick works mainly online, which suits him as it means he can keep his mum company during the day. Outside of work, Rick enjoys fishing at the nearby beach with a childhood friend, and he’ll often cook up his catches for himself and his mum.
Of course one thing you’ll learn in the academic world is that only MEN can be paedophiles and sexually attracted to children.
And the second thing is that it’s only WHITE MEN.
This is Critical Theory 101. White men are the problem. The opressors.
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Then I’m told: |
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There are a lot of stereotypes about the kinds of people who experience this attraction – about what they look like, how they act, and even how old they are.
Like many stereotypes, these are often false. People who have a sexual attraction to children are just like anyone else in the community, but they happen to experience a sexual attraction that cannot be acted upon, morally or legally.
Having a sexual attraction to children doesn’t dictate other aspects of someone’s life, like their appearance, hobbies and interests, or personality. Knowing that someone has a sexual attraction to children only means that you know that they have this particular sexual attraction, but not anything else about them.
Sadly we know that to be completely false. Paedophiles get away with horrendous crimes through their sneakiness and deception. They’re usually seductive, manipulative, and highly controlling.
Anyone in your community could potentially experience a sexual attraction to children.
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Note the attempt by the academics to make this disorder as normal as needing a coffee fix every morning. |
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Module 1 mentioned how people with a sexual attraction to children tend to realise their attraction at a young age, about the same time that other people are realising their own sexual orientation/s. This means that people who experience a sexual attraction to children are not only adults, but also adolescents who are discovering their sexual interests for the first time. |
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Having a sexual attraction to children doesn’t make someone a monster or a bad person, it’s just a part of their life that they didn’t choose. It also doesn’t mean that they will act on their attractions by abusing a child, even though they may have sexual thoughts and attractions towards children.
Like the general public, many people with this attraction understand the incredible harm that sexual abuse does to children and are strongly opposed to acting on their attractions because of this.
But this is where they really start to lose me
While some people with a sexual attraction to children may sexually offend, many don’t. Alongside this, many people who do sexually abuse a child aren’t motivated by having a sexual attraction to children.
“Many people who do sexually abuse a child aren’t motivated by having a sexual attraction to children.”
That’s like saying an alcoholic really doesn’t like the alcohol. A rapist doesn’t like the sex. The guy that beats his missus to a pulp actually deeply loves her.
And then finally a quiz
If someone has a sexual attraction to children, that means… they’re quiet and reserved. They’re single. They’re a man. A bad person. Like childish things. All of the above. None of the above.
This isn’t going to well, this conversion therapy.
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A couple of days later, Module Three arrives |
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Just like anyone else, Joe, Sam, and Rick all have their own personal stressors and life challenges.
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Joe has been struggling with anxiety since he was a teenager – he feels the weight of his worries on his chest, is concerned about how others will see him and whether he meets other’s expectations. This has become more apparent for Joe recently – as he’s become more interested in preparing and barbequing meats, he’s started to wonder about training to be a chef. However, he’s a bit nervous about taking that step and failing. He’s also worried that his friends and brothers won’t think being a chef is as masculine as being a butcher, and he doesn’t want them to think differently about him because of it. |
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Sam is worried that their flatmates think badly of them as Sam always seems to have new sexual partners over at the flat recently. They’ve noticed how their flatmates look at each other when Sam gets home early in the morning or shows yet another person where the bathroom is and doesn’t want their sex life to change their flatmates and friends’ opinions of them.
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Remember – Sam’s personal pronouns are “they” – just in case you’re feeling confused. |
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Rick has been feeling pretty down ever since he and his ex-wife separated. While separating was the right thing to do, Rick is concerned that his daughter doesn’t love him anymore as he was the one who initiated the separation. Though Rick has enjoyed looking after and keeping his mum company after his dad’s death, she keeps bringing up Rick’s daughter and how she’d like to see her more, and it’s making Rick feel worse.
Still not sure where this is all going. You can probably guess though.
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Time for some more ‘conversion therapy’ |
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People with this attraction face a great deal of stigma as people often think that having a sexual attraction to children means that someone will sexually abuse a child, and that having the sexual attraction is a controllable choice. They may experience both public stigma and self-stigmatisation.
Those who are “different”. “Belong to or identify with that group”.
Remember we’re talking about paedophiles here.
Public and self-stigma can lead to and amplify mental health struggles for many people with a sexual attraction to children, including experiences like depression and anxiety, loneliness and isolation, feelings of guilt and shame, and low self-esteem.
All the more reason to get treatment eh
The impact of stigma may be wider than just those who are stigmatised. Research on stigma and its effects on people with a sexual attraction to children implies that there may be links between the impact of stigma and an increased risk of sexual offending against a child.
See where they’re going with this? It’s a similar argument that we heard during the cannabis debate. Legalise and reduce the so-called harm of illegality, punishment and stigma.
The effects of stigma, such as isolation, loneliness and the fear of negative reactions from others, is a barrier for many with the attraction in managing their wellbeing. It can prevent them from telling people in their lives about their attractions, and from seeking help when they really need it – either for mental health purposes or for concerns about acting on their attraction and offending.
Alongside difficulties with help-seeking, the available support is lacking. While there are some support services for people with a sexual attraction to children, many in that community feel that there’s not enough support available. The services that are available also may not meet people’s needs.
Ok this is the one thing the researchers and I agree on. Get as much treatment available as possible to protect the victims from paedophiles, and the paedophiles from themselves.
But then they lose me again.
Those with the attraction have found that many services internationally tend to focus more on risk reduction and managing the attraction…
Great!
…rather than on helping people with their personal lives and mental health concerns – especially in dealing with the effects of stigma.
No it’s all the same package. The reason you feel the stigma is because you have a sexual disorder. But here’s the help you need.
While stigma towards sexual attraction to children may prevent the attraction from being normalised and emphasises society’s intolerance towards child sexual abuse, it is often fuelled by misunderstandings of the attraction – like that it’s an active choice, or that everyone with the attraction will sexually abuse a child, sooner or later.
Correct – we’re not going to take the risk. For your benefit – but mainly for the child’s benefit. You have a disorder!
Myths like these mean that those with the attraction will face stigma for something that they did not choose and for abusive actions that they have not committed (and may not ever commit).
Once again, a false equivalence. If the person doesn’t act on their sexual disorder, gets help to manage it, and doesn’t offend – perfect.
Alongside this, the negative consequences of stigma far outweigh any benefits, particularly when considering the effect it may have on offending. Increasing awareness and educating people about sexual attractions to children may help to reduce stigma and the taboo of the topic, which will ideally encourage help-seeking and improve the available support. These changes may help to reduce harm for everyone involved and ultimately improve people’s wellbeing.
The help is available. It’s up to the willingness of the person to get that help.
And then we have a quiz – I assume to see if I’ve been ‘converted’ yet.
Which of the following are barriers to people with a sexual attraction to children accessing support services?
Public stigma is __________, while self-stigma is __________.
A couple of days later, another email.
And we’re back to our three white cis men. I think that’s what they are?
While Joe, Sam, and Rick are all just regular people – they have whānau, friends, hobbies and dreams, and personal struggles. They also have something in common: they all have a sexual attraction to children.
Oh! Now the penny drops!
Joe realised that he’s gay when he was 13, but as he grew older, he noticed that the boys he is attracted to stayed around 12-14 years old. Even if he was attracted to men his age, he doesn’t know if he’d be able to tell anyone as he doesn’t know how they would react. Joe has tried to date women his age in the past, but it’s never lasted long as he’s just not interested in them like that. He’s also had a boyfriend previously, and while he desperately hoped that he could make this relationship work, he realised he also wasn’t interested in men his age either. Trying to hide both his sexuality and attraction to children is causing Joe a lot of stress and distancing him from his family and friends.
Hmm – I don’t like this connection between paedophilia and homosexuality. How did this get past the supervisors and the Ethics Committee at Victoria University?
There’s lots of “theys” in this – but it’s all about one person.
Sam has been having a lot of casual sex over the past two years with people their own age after realising that they had a sexual attraction to a 10-year-old girl they’d met at their music lessons. While Sam’s attracted to the people their age that they’ve been seeing, they feel they need to prove to themself that they’re not attracted to young girls. After meeting the girl, Sam quit music lessons and began feeling very stressed out when they were around children, so now avoids going to places where children will be.
It’s ok, Sam. Treatment is available. You might even lose the preferred pronouns in the process.
Rick and his ex-wife separated when Rick realised the effect that hiding a big secret from his wife was having on their relationship, and by extension, their daughter – the fact that Rick has an attraction to young girls.While Rick always knew that he would never be attracted to his daughter, he has also always worried that if his wife knew his secret, she wouldn’t be able to fully trust him. As his daughter grew older, Rick distanced himself from her and his wife to avoid going to school events and other places with children, and eventually decided that separating from his wife and living apart from them would be the easiest way to keep his attraction a secret. He would rather see his daughter only twice a month than have her learn his secret and never see her again.
Here’s a solution, Rick. Get treatment. I bet your daughter would really love to have you in her life.
So why have we learnt about the three white men?
People with a sexual attraction to children can be anyone – they can be people in your community, your work, even friends and family. They can be people like Joe, or Sam, or Rick, and they can be struggling with their attraction and how it’s affected other parts of their lives. These are everyday people who deserve understanding, access to help and support, and deserve to live their lives without fear of stigmatisation for something they cannot control and can choose not to act on.
Wow – see the massive contradiction there. “Cannot control” but “can choose not to act on” – so they can control! Is there a typo in there somewhere?
So now they’re going to teach me how to talk about all of this.
Because of the stigma and taboo surrounding the sexual attraction to children, it can be hard to discuss the topic without feeling like you need to agree with stereotypes and stigmatising myths – especially if you don’t know a whole lot about it or are worried that you may be judged for your views. This module will give you some ideas for how to engage in conversations with other adults about people who have a sexual attraction to children, and how to challenge myths and stereotypes.
I don’t want to challenge myths and stereotypes. I want to get these people with a sexual disorder the help they urgently need and get the protection for children that they urgently need.
Before engaging in conversations about sexual attraction to children, try to consider how others you’re talking with might react. It can be a sensitive topic for various reasons – for example, due to the association with child sexual abuse – so it’s understandable that some people may not feel comfortable talking about it. (!!)
Be aware that there’s always a chance that sexual offending will become part of the discussion, and this can be upsetting for many people, especially for people/survivors with a history of sexual abuse or assault.
It’s also good to think about how open-minded the people you’re talking to are – people can react in surprising ways when discussing sexual attraction to children..
Ya think?
Ironically, they then start blaming the media for raising the issues around paedophilia and risks to children and of course reporting some of the horrific cases we have witnessed –
even just at the weekend.
Media is a big source of stereotypes and myth circulation – movies, TV shows, and news articles often refer to someone who has sexually abused a child as a “paedophile,” even though there’s no proof that they have a sexual attraction to prepubescent children.
These sorts of comments can lead to people thinking that’s what a “paedophile” is – anyone who sexually offends against a child – even though we know that’s not true. Challenging these myths about people with a sexual attraction to children is an important step in reducing stigma and allowing those with the attraction to disclose to others and seek support.
Imagine you’re having a family dinner, and someone brings up a news article they saw recently about someone who sexually abused a child.
The scenario is actual sex abuse of a child by a paedophile.
Someone chimes in with the comment:
“Why don’t we lock up all the paedophiles before they can do that?”
You’ll note that the question is not – how can we protect children from paedophiles? What responsibility does society have to protect children? How do we deter paedophiles from even thinking about harming our children?
How do you respond? Here are some suggestions:
The media makes it sound like paedophilia and child sexual abuse are the same things.
Not everyone who abuses a child like that is actually attracted to them.
People don’t choose to have an attraction to children.
Another scenario:
Now it’s your turn. Imagine you’re walking through the park with friends, and as you’re passing a playground, you see an older man watching the children playing. A friend gives the man a dirty look and says to you: “I bet he’s a paedophile” How do you respond?
Um… that could have been my dad looking after my children and taking them to the local park – which he regularly did – and which the children absolutely loved.
Context really does matter, doesn’t it.
Finally an end of Module Four Quiz
Just a few questions to reflect on: How would you respond if someone told you that they might be attracted to children? What are some other situations where myths and stereotypes can be challenged?
So did I pass? Did the conversion therapy work on me?
The final email arrived over the weekend.
How did you learn about this study?
What is the highest degree or level of school you have completed?
Where have you previously read or heard about people with a sexual attraction to children?
Have you had personal contact with anyone acknowledging a sexual attraction to children?
And then agreement or disagreement – and how strongly. Now these were a repeat from the 1st email so they wanted to see whether the ‘conversion therapy’ had worked. But there were a few questions that stood out.
Whether I agreed or disagreed with some statements.
People with a sexual attraction to children should be allowed to work with children
Only if they’d had therapy – and even then, I’d have concerns.
People are not responsible for their sexual preferences but they are responsible for their behaviour
Both actually.
People with a sexual attraction to children who do not act on their sexual attraction deserve professional support… and family support.
Prevention programmes may reduce the risk of people with a sexual attraction to children acting upon their attraction.
Of course. Not sure why they say “may reduce”.
Sexual attraction to children is something that you choose for yourself
[If someone has a sexual attraction to children],
There is nothing they can do about it. It is their own fault.
People can decide whether they have a sexual attraction to children
… a disposition you cannot do anything about
… have consciously decided to have this disposition
The researchers are keen to see whether I see the paedophile as the victim. As Anne Salter who I quoted earlier says: It really isn’t your fault. … You really couldn’t control it. You are a victim of a punitive society.’
…dangerous for children
There exists no strong relationship between sexual attraction to children and sexual abuse of children
They’re very keen to see if they’ve persuaded me on this. They haven’t.
Sexual attraction to children sooner or later always leads to child sex abuse
The privacy of people with a sexual attraction to children is more important than information and safety needs of the public
Definitely not. And it’s not necessarily the public’s safety. It’s the safety of children from the very real threat of sexual abuse!
Then a survey about how I felt about the study and whether I learnt anything
And finally, the debriefing!
…As you will have learnt from the modules, people with a sexual attraction to children are ordinary people who experience a sexual attraction that cannot be acted upon legally or ethically. However, media often dehumanises them and portrays them as inherently inclined to harm children, despite research showing otherwise. This misrepresentation, coupled with widespread misunderstanding that the attraction is the same as abuse, results in these individuals experiencing a great deal of stigma.
This stigma can result in emotional distress and reluctance to disclose their attraction… Encouraging these individuals to seek support when they need is an objective of stigma reduction research, which attempts to develop effective techniques for influencing public attitudes towards people with a sexual attraction to children and reduce stigma.
Ultimately, the goal of this area of research is to reduce the incidence of sexual abuse – reducing stigma towards people with a sexual attraction towards children is not intended to reduce stigma towards child sexual abuse, or to normalise the attraction. Instead, it is intended to lift the taboo from the topic and allow for those who need support to seek it.
So “stigma” is ok – but only when they say it is?
Here’s the ironic bit.
At the bottom of the study, they list Helplines and Support Services – but they’re primarily for victims. Mental health. “Affected by sexual harm”. “Impacted by sexual harm”.
And then
If you are unsure about your own thoughts or behaviour towards children, or are concerned about the behaviour of someone you know, contact Wellstop.
You’ll be pleased to know that the ‘conversion therapy’ didn’t work on me.
I will continue to act to protect the child first and foremost from any real or even perceived threat.
I will always have a bias towards the victim.
I will do everything I can to coerce and encourage the paedophile to get treatment.
I will not destigmatise morally eroded behaviour because that will being a greater risk of normalising it.
I will continue to call it its correct term – paedophilia.
Victoria University – you failed.
